Clazz

[Nov. 13th, 2009|03:04 pm]

[

feeling rather

pissed off

]

Not to sound emo or anything, but I really do hate life right now.

Toady and I had a major fight this morning, it made me REALLY angry and upset. He basically refused to open the shop without me - despite a) I have to open the shop ALMOST EVERY DAY without him because he's too fucking lazy to get up! I get annoyed but I go down there because THE SHOP HAS TO BE OPENED, and b) today was supposed to be my day off! I had said I'll come in in the morning, yes, but I also said this morning, 'I'll come down in about ten minutes, I have to sort some things out.' But no, he had to WAIT for me. So I ended up storming out of the flat crying because it was pretty much hard proof that he doesn't actually care about the shop at all, and I not only locked myself out but I also went out with no shoes on and it was tipping it down!!!

Five minutes later, Toady called me asking where I am, so I asked where HE was, and he was still at the fucking flat!!!! It was 9.35am and the shop opens at 9. So I got even MORE angry, my feet were soaked through and hurting like hell. Obviously when I got back inside, I had to change, and he insisted that he HAD to wait for me to change and get myself ready. We ended up getting to the shop at 9.50am, almost an hour late. Of course, it's all my fucking fault because if I had got up in the first place it wouldn't have happened! MY GOD, imagine if I did that every time HE slept in!!!! The shop would never, ever, ever open!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then it just got even worse! He stormed off into the toilet and locked the door so I couldn't get through to him at all, finally he came out and tried to fucking leave the shop. So I grabbed hold of him and by this time I was really angry so I started screaming at him, and he pushed me to the ground. IN FRONT OF TWO CUSTOMERS!!! Then he ran out the shop, so I ran after him, and we started having a proper physical and verbal fight right in the middle of the fucking street. I couldn't believe I was stooping that low, I just hate him SO fucking much. I really do, I can't stand living with him for another moment, he's a fucking IDIOT.

I also managed to break the flat door so it's almost hanging off its hinges, and now I can't even eat comfort food because my teeth have suddenly become really bad over the past couple of days. One of them has a black mark, and loads have got brown marks (all overnight, all at the same time?!) even though I brush them loads, use floss all the time, etc. It's really fucked me off, it's just one more disaster that I DON'T need right now.

AND someone really special (who I'll have to explain about another time) hasn't emailed me for five days, and I'm really worried about him. He's pretty much the only person who I feel I can talk to properly right now, and in the time I need him the most, he's not around! :'(

So I went to the other person I feel I can talk to, and he doesn't want to see me! Fucking brilliant. It's nice having friends, especially when you need them.

7 secrets|tell a secret

[Nov. 10th, 2009|07:46 pm]

[

feeling rather

bored

]

I have a LOT to blog about. I'm going to blog about this another time, but Toady and I have broken up, which is really horrible. I won't go into details, but I will probably be blogging a lot about it, I just... haven't been in the mood for it at all. I can't really believe it. We've been unhappy for a while, deep down, but I never imagined how much it would really hurt. Three and a half years is a long time, we've had SO many good times. Towards the end, we had a lot of bad times and it ultimately led to the break up, but as always with human nature, the loss has made me pine the good moments more than anything.

However, we went to Prague this weekend, which was amazing! I was pretty worried because we only broke up a week before we went, and for most of the week I was convinced he wasn't going to come. We were constantly angry at each other, and it's been really difficult because we not only own the shop together, we also live together. So I've been sleeping on the couch and we've constantly been in each other's hair, it's made it really hard because it's not like I even have anywhere to go, my parents are 800 miles away and so are my friends.

Anyway, Prague really was fantastic, although we were only there for two days. I mostly booked Prague specifically because I wanted to see two of my friends from camp, I mean I wanted to go there anyway but I would probably have chosen Rome or something over Prague this time around. But it is SUCH a nice city, it's really small and so lovely, it's all cobblestone lanes and gothic architecture and really beautiful buildings, I loved it.

( click to read all about our prague adventure! )

3 secrets|tell a secret

[Oct. 13th, 2009|02:11 pm]

[

grooving to

Muse - MK Ultra

]

I can't decide how things are at the moment.

Things with Daniel are great, we're having a really good time. We all went out in Brighton on Saturday and caught up with one of my friends, Tom, so that was awesome. I've never actually been out in Brighton at night before (apart from gigs), which is shocking considering I've lived here for two years. It's only because the last bus has always been at 10.45pm so to be honest, what's even the point in trying when we'd only have to leave early? But they've started a 1.30am bus, woo!

It turned out to be quite an interesting night, first we went to the Hobgoblin which had "anglo-doom" bands playing hahaha, they were so rubbish. So we moved on to the King & Queen, which was a really cool place, we played pool and made friends with these Polish guys, and one of them was the SPITTING IMAGE of Matt Bellamy, I kid you not. It was really weird lol.

Anyway, then the fun really started because this crazy/drunk/both guy came in and sat down near us, and he kept talking to himself. And then he decided to play pool. Against himself. It was the best thing I've ever seen, he was just like, throwing the cues at the balls and when they obviously didn't go in, he would get really angry LMFAOOOO. At one point, he just threw the cue on the ground and started having a go at himself. Except he wasn't saying words, he was just growling HAHAHAHAHA!! Absolutely classic.

Eventually, we went downstairs to sit on one of the couches, and two minutes later, he walked past us, straight over to a painting of someone, and started shouting at it! :-D He was swiftly escorted out, which was a shame, LOL.

Then we went to another bar, which was pretty cool, loads of good music on the jukebox - Jimmy Eat World were on when we walked in. :-) But we didn't stay long 'cause we had to catch the bus... which was also interesting, we were walking across the Old Steine and this guy was playing guitar with a bunch of friends, and someone shouted at him to shut the hell up and get off his territory?! The guy ignored him 'cause obviously he was just nuts, but then he went over to them and punched one of them!!!! Luckily, the police got involved straight away, it was totally ridiculous.

So that was an interesting end to the night, haha.

Things with Toady aren't so great. :-( I mean we're generally okay, but we've been arguing quite a bit, and some horrible things have happened, like the other night he woke me up at 4am because he was just coming to bed and wanted a cuddle. Fine, okay. I didn't wake up properly so I went straight back to sleep. Got woken up ten minutes later because I'd woken HIM up by pushing and kicking him. I apologised... and got woken up again five minutes later - on the edge of the bed. He was pushing me off the fucking bed, so obviously I shoved him back because what the fuck. He said I'd been kicking him in the back again, and the ironic thing is, I wouldn't have BEEN fidgeting if he hadn't woken ME up in the first place!!! And then he shoved me clean off the bed and told me to fuck off.

I then had to sleep on the couch. He still hasn't apologised and it was like four nights ago now. In fact, the next day, he said he was still mad at me!!! While he laid in bed with a migraine all day (caused by staying up so late!) while I worked all day ON MY OWN and almost had to miss an exam for an NVQ retail course I'm doing.

In better news, I got a distinction in the exam. :-) But whatever. I don't know what his problem is lately. Last week, I went up to London to do a photoshoot (photos coming soon, they're awesome!) and see Brigade/Fightstar, and he was supposed to come. The night before, he said he couldn't be bothered!! Well thanks, leave me with a really sought after ticket when it's too late to get rid of it! Thanks a fucking lot. Plus I didn't really fancy doing the photoshoot on my own.

And now he doesn't want to come to Biffy Clyro with me, either. Like if we'd been to loads of gigs lately, or he hated Biffy, then fair enough, but neither of those are true! So I don't get it. We never really hang out any more, apart from at home. He even had a problem with me booking a trip to Prague for next month, oh I'm sorry that I want to see places WITH YOU. I just thought it might be nice! Ugh.

Oh life. Thankfully, the shop's doing really well, the other shop hasn't really affected us and a lot of people are boycotting them anyway. Still need to see what happens, but I think I'm less worried than I was.

Sorry for the long blog, to be fair I haven't done a proper one for a while. :-P I'll do a picture update soon for Orkney, the 'shoot and Brigade/Fightstar, but now I have to go organise the accounts and do the washing up on my lovely day off. :-( Le sigh.

P.S. New layout on chasing-secrets.net! Muuuuuuuse!!

2 secrets|tell a secret

[Oct. 2nd, 2009|11:05 pm]

[	feeling rather	\|	anxious	]
[	grooving to	\|	Something Corporate - Hurricane	]

So a new shop is moving into town and it's literally Allsorts number two.

Which initially worried the heck out of me, but it's all very, very fishy. Literally, no one had heard anything about a discount shop moving into Uckfield, and suddenly they turned up out of NOWHERE on Wednesday morning and are opening tomorrow. It's the tiniest shop ever so they don't have the space to sell much at all, they're probably less than half the size of us and we struggle enough with space!

So they won't be selling plastic boxes, food, cards, wool, or much stationery... which is most of our profit. They seem to just have cleaning products, etc; more worryingly, almost every single household product they're selling is the same brand as what we sell, but at half the price. This is where things get strange. They're selling packs of either 10 or 20 bin bags for 50p... I am sorry but the manufacturer of those bin bags sells 10-packs for 45p plus VAT, so that's not even possible.

Naturally, theories are flying around. Everyone in trade has said that a lot of shops pop up for a couple of months around Christmas and then disappear in January, and that it's extremely likely this is just one of those.

Tim says someone who runs pound shops in Eastbourne has just gone bankrupt so perhaps he's found somewhere really cheap to set up for a couple of months until he gets rid of his excess stock.

My mum thinks it COULD be stolen goods, which worries me considering about half of what they have in there is stuff our main supplier sells, I really hope it's not all stolen from them. Funnily enough, a customer came in today and said she'd just seen the owner wearing loads of expensive jewellery, which just adds to that theory, haha.

Either way, every theory so far says they're not going to be in there long. I just hope that's true. We don't deserve crap like that after what we've been through so far. I'm only 20 and I already feel like I've been through 50 years of stress just with this shop.

[Sep. 25th, 2009|11:30 pm]

[	feeling rather	\|	amused	]
[	grooving to	\|	Biffy Clyro - 57	]

I went to the doctors today and it was biggest bloody shambles ever.

I was told to go to the hospital when I saw him a couple of days ago, which is like a 25 minute walk away from the shop (my car's MOT has just run out). So I walked up there and was told to go into the minor injuries unit, where the woman was like, 'oh I'm not sure you're supposed to be here'. So she asked someone else, who said, 'yeah, you have to get it done at the surgery.' Which is TWO MINUTES away from the shop.

Anyway, just as she was telling me this, another girl arrived also for the same reason, so she overheard and was like, 'what?!' We were both confused as hell, and then discovered our appointments were at exactly the same time!! Anyway, we got a taxi back down to the surgery which was fine, especially because she knew the driver so he didn't charge us for it as he insisted it was the hospital's fault lol, so that was really nice of him.

So we got to the surgery and checked in both together, and the receptionist goes to the other girl, 'hmm, you're not on the system'. It was really weird, I figure they accidentally cancelled her appointment or something and booked mine on top of hers. O_o

Either way, it finally got fixed because a few minutes later she joined me in the waiting room. But more cock ups were yet to come...

Half way through my procedure (I should probably mention that this was replacing the implant or this bit isn't going to make sense), the doctor goes, 'right, where's your new one?' I was like, 'uh, don't you have it?' I mean when I got my first one, the doctor had it already. And he was just like, 'you don't have it?! You had to pick it up from the pharmacy.' Well I was never bloody told that! So he went through to the waiting room and the other girl didn't have one either!!

So I was left lying on this bed with a hole in my arm, blood pouring everywhere, while he ran up to the fucking pharmacy to get one. I am not even kidding you, it was totally ridiculous!!!

And then I got stitches for the first time ever, woo! And now I have a big ass bandage on it. And then my car failed its MOT. What a bloody day!

[Sep. 23rd, 2009|11:41 pm]

[

feeling rather

anxious

]

So I haven't blogged in a while. I've never been so busy in my life, not just with the shop, but a couple of weeks ago, we went up to Orkney for a very, very brief visit. We then came down with my parents, entertained them for a couple of days, then I went up to Oxfordshire to see family and thennn came back to the shop where it's been non-stop go. Not only that but we smuggled some weird guy down with us and he's now taken refuge in our spare room and is stealing all our electricity. I'm kidding, he's a friend from Orkney, Daniel. :-) But that's just added to it all!!

I'll do a proper blog about my adventures across the country, but I'm about to go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a bad day, I can just smell it. For about two weeks now, I've been meaning to do a thorough clear out of the stock rooms (i.e. topping EVERYTHING up on the shelves, reorganising the rooms, etc) but being away for most of last week buggered that up a bit. I got back from the 'shire around Saturday lunchtime, Toady and Daniel took the rest of the day off seeing as I had just taken one off. Sunday I was on my own, so I got started on clearing up on Monday morning (which is supposed to be a day off). And I haven't done any since, because we get a huge delivery, or I have to do a big order, or this happens, or that.

And tomorrow is just going to be the worst. I have a supplier rep coming to do an order, we have two deliveries, I have to do an order with another supplier, I have to put my car in for its MOT, I have an appointment with the nurse and I have to make about 1034283 phone calls. How am I supposed to do all that, and when am I ever going to get the stock rooms done!? :-(

Big, big sigh.

[Sep. 1st, 2009|01:45 am]

[

grooving to

Funeral For A Friend - Beneath The Burning Tree

]

I'm feeling pretty depressed at the moment, so to take my mind off it, I'm going to do an overdue blog about the Thursday before last. :-)

I went up to Bracknell to see the weird and wonderful musical that is Loserville, written by James Bourne of Busted fame. Judging by the name alone, I was expecting it to be rubbish - let alone the fact James has never attempted to write a musical before, coupled with thinking that everywhere in London probably rejected it and that's why he resorted to a random town in Berkshire!

As it turns out, I was proved very wrong. The musical was truly brilliant! The plot was amazing, the summary doesn't do it ANY justice whatsoever. The cast were excellent, the characters were fantastic, the Son Of Dork songs fit perfectly and the new songs were brilliant; the whole production was just great. It made me feel a bit emotional actually, I was SO proud of what James came up with.

Anyway, the most exciting part was meeting James himself!!! As a lot of you know, I was a massive, massive Busted fan from the start, which was about seven years ago. I've spoken to James before and he knew who I was and said he's been on bustedonline.org. But I've never had the chance to meet him before, so it really meant a lot to me.

The best thing was, I was with a group of people who sort of know him, so he got us into the "after-party" (which turned out to be a bit lame, haha!) and kept coming over to talk to us, it was really nice. It was quite funny when he called someone over and introduced us to him as his "friends"! :-p

We also got a bit excited because his girlfriend was there - with a ring on her finger! She said they're not engaged though, she just likes wearing a ring on that finger lol. But she said she hopes one day they will be, awwwwwww. <3

My friends were parked next to James as well, which was quite funny because we said our goodbyes and then he followed us out, and all the way across the car park hahaha.

Getting home was another matter entirely. Getting there had worked out quite well because we got a delivery at the shop and I went up to London with the supplier, hahaha, and got the train across from there. But we got to Bracknell station to find it was CLOSED. And I had to catch a train from London Victoria in an hour. So I was freaking out a bit, but luckily Nat's wonderful friend agreed to drive me there, which was so nice of her. <3 We literally got there with less than ten minutes to spare, and I was trying not to pee myself the whole way, it was horrible, haha! But it all worked out well, yay!

Hooray! Mega thanks to Amanda for taking the picture after my camera kindly decided not to!! Embarrassing moment, but that sort of thing seems to follow me. :-p

4 secrets|tell a secret

[Aug. 24th, 2009|03:54 pm]

[

grooving to

Billy Talent - The Ex

]

I've been thinking a lot about fate recently... not really generally, but specifically to me.

Camp finished yesterday and it makes me feel quite sad thinking that I've missed their whole summer. But it's finished a lot later than last year, and I was thinking if it finished this late last year, I would never have gone on the same trek as I did, I would never have met those wonderful people, and judging by how close-knit all the other groups we met were (i.e. not very), I don't think I would have had as good a time. A lot of us still keep in touch and I consider a few of them real friends, and honestly, I doubt the other groups do. So it just makes me feel weird that it all came together like that when it could have been so different.

And now I'm thinking about my friends in Orkney. I've been feeling kind of depressed lately because I miss everyone up there so much, and sure, it's nowhere near the same any more - most of my friends have moved away, or situations have changed, like Becca & Steven have a baby - but David's still there, Kevin's probably moving back up there, and it really upsets me that I can't be there with my two best friends in the world.

Anyway, it made me think of a few years ago when David asked me out a couple of times. I always said no because he was my best friend and I didn't want to ruin that, but since then I have wondered what it would be like if I had said yes. I wouldn't be with Toady (obviously), I would probably have never even MET him (in the flesh)... I wouldn't be living here, I wouldn't have my own shop. This is probably the way things are supposed to be because everything's going really well, but I could just have easily have said yes to David, and I reckon there's a good chance we would have stayed together. And where would we be? Still in Orkney doing absolutely nothing? In Glasgow living the high life as a top journalist? I don't know, it's just really weird to think about. Small decisions completely change your life.

(no subject)	[Aug. 19th, 2009\|12:39 am]
Vlaaaaad _ __ [ is on fire. ] _ says: linit? clazz ;; they will not force us, they will stop degrading us, they will not control us, we will be victorious says: is that your attempt to spell my surname? :P Vlaaaaad _ __ [ is on fire. ] _ says: what is your surname? Vlaaaaad _ __ [ is on fire. ] _ says: how the hell do u spell it clazz ;; they will not force us, they will stop degrading us, they will not control us, we will be victorious says: LOL clazz ;; they will not force us, they will stop degrading us, they will not control us, we will be victorious says: you're no longer my best friend until you spell it correctly :P Vlaaaaad _ __ [ is on fire. ] _ says: LOL Vlaaaaad _ __ [ is on fire. ] _ says: linnette? clazz ;; they will not force us, they will stop degrading us, they will not control us, we will be victorious says: :( Vlaaaaad _ __ [ is on fire. ] _ says: linnet? Vlaaaaad _ __ [ is on fire. ] _ says: linnit? I copied & pasted this to Kevin, who got my surname right straight away. And then... Kaziko__is_[Sacré bleu!] says: Clarissa Something-Like-Victoria Linnitt clazz ;; they will not force us, they will stop degrading us, they will not control us, we will be victorious says: victoria?! clazz ;; they will not force us, they will stop degrading us, they will not control us, we will be victorious says: this is shocking Do my two best friends know NOTHING about me?! HAHAHA. Actually, David at least knows my middle name. Vlaaaaad _ __ [ is on fire. ] _ says: ...pamela :) clazz ;; they will not force us, they will stop degrading us, they will not control us, we will be victorious says: hahahahah between the two of you, you will take over the world :D Vlaaaaad _ __ [ is on fire. ] _ says: YES Vlaaaaad _ __ [ is on fire. ] _ says: WE SHALL * Kaziko__is_[Sacré bleu!] was added to this conversation. * Vlaaaaad _ __ [ is on fire. ] _ says: THE WORLD WILL BE OURS KEVIN !!! Kaziko__is_[Sacré bleu!] says: YEAH!!11 Kaziko__is_[Sacré bleu!] says: *What IS her middle name? :P
Link	tell a secret

[Aug. 12th, 2009|11:05 pm]

[

feeling rather

amused

]

I swear some things happen in this house that have NEVER happened in other houses.

Right now, I am sitting with one hand pushing the on/off switch of the washing machine in for the entire duration of the wash because it suddenly won't click in automatically.

Toady nor I have any clean underwear, so desperate measures and all that, but THIS... well, at least I have the laptop to stop me going insane............................................

Although I'm starting to think that's a tiny bit too late.